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It doesn't have to be all or nothing.


"Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend Jenny?"
No Wholesale Greedy Williams Jersey , not after you came home late last night.
Well everybody else gets to.
I don't care what everybody else gets to do, you can't
You just don't trust me
You've got to earn it
I have
no you haven't
have too
have not
SLAM!!! etc.


If the above conversation sounds familiar, you're probably the parent of a teenager. I especially love the "everybody else gets to do it" line. My parents response to that was "if everybody else stood on their head in the middle of the street at 3am in their underwear, would you?"


Probably would have.


I never understood what all that meant; but I do know that raising teenagers can be an extremely challenging task. I have a tremendous amount of respect for the parents of the teenagers I work with in my practice.


Now don't get me wrong. Most teenagers are pretty OK people. The vast majority seem to stay out of the juvenile justice system and eventually become adults. It's just that most of the teenagers I've worked with are 16 going on 26 and 16 going on 6 Wholesale Jarvis Landry Jersey , all at the same time.


There is a proverb that goes something like "raise a child in the way they should go and when they are old they won't depart from it". What that implies is at some point they are going to go away from it. Some families seem to go through the passage of the teen years with little or no struggle. Many other families find it one of the most challenging and at times, maddening stages for their family. Parents of teenagers really try hard to navigate these difficult waters. One of the areas that seem to be the most difficult for parents is the issue of trust. Let's take a closer look at how trust operates in families with teenagers, how it sometimes gets damaged, and how it can be built back.


A few families seem to go along and never have any problems with or damage done to the trust level for their kids. Others can really struggle with this issue. One of the places families tend to get stuck is seeing trust as an eitheror situation. The teen lies Wholesale Odell Beckham Jr Jersey , breaks curfew, experiments with drugs, or something equally trust damaging. The parents feel like they have lost all trust in their teen. The problem, or the "sticking point" Wholesale Bernie Kosar Jersey , here is how do you build the trust back from nothing? How do we set it up so kids can earn back trust? Viewing trust as a matter of degree can help create a map back to a trusting relationship.


Here's an example of building a map back to trust as well as creating the structure to earn trust back. Let's say the teen has broken curfew by a few hours. The first step is looking at trust on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 is the least amount of trust, 10 is the most. Let's say that coming home late reduced the trust level from a 9 down to a 3. That's a gap of 6 trust levels. Creating a map back to a high trust level will be difficult if you try to go from a three to a nine all at once. It's just too big a leap.


The next step is to talk about and agree on what changes andor behaviors need to occur to go from a three level to a four level; then from a four to a five; a five to a six; and so on. In this way several positive structures are set up. The parents have a way of monitoring their teens progress and the teen has something to work toward. In addition, there's a built in incentive for the teen. In many families Cheap Antonio Callaway Jersey , trust is kind of like playing video games at the mall. In the video arcade, the more tokens you have, the more you can play. In much the same way, in families Cheap Chad Thomas Jersey , the more trust you have, the more you can do.


At this stage many parents will ask "How do I know things are really different, that I'm not getting fooled?" That's an e. Cheap Jerseys From China Cheap Jerseys Shop Cheap Nike NFL Jerseys Cheap NFL Football Jerseys Cheap NBA Basketball Jerseys Wholesale Jerseys China Wholesale Jerseys Free Shipping Wholesale Jerseys From China Wholesale Jerseys Online Wholesale NHL Hockey Jerseys